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        Welcome to VAX/VMS Version 1.60    
$3,000,000
'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.  -Malaclypse the Younger
'Tis better playing with a lion's whelp,/Than with an old one dying.
'Tis nobler in the mind to Look Things Up than to Pull Them Out Of The Air.
* UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories.
*** LGP ERROR ***: Initialize -- Cannot initialize graphics hardware device.
-1: No code table for op: ++post
...and on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
/usr/games/fortune: not found
/usr/news/gotcha
1 bulls, 3 cows
127 now in the unregulated subsidiary; see /usr/news/btl-split
2 lacks generality in a way that 1 doesn't.
23. ...  r-q1
355/113 -- not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
: is not an identifier
A Cray is the best machine for simulating the performance of a Cray.
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
A billion here, a billion there; soon you're talking real money.  -E. Dirksen
A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.
A chicken is just an egg's way of making more eggs.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
A couch is as good as a chair.
A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
A day without sunshine is like night.
A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the turkey.
A fly by night leaves no shadow beyond a doubt.
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine!
A game, a teaching aid, a sport, and a piece of art. -Erno Rubik
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
A goodly apple rotten at the heart:/Oh, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!
A homeowner's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a weekend for?
A hypothesis is an opinion that you are trying to prove true.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance from Sam.
A king's castle is his home.
A lone dime always gets the number nearly right.
A man does not attain the status of Galileo merely because he is persecuted; he must also be right. - S. J. Gould
A man must destroy himself before others can destroy him.  -Mong Tse
A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey.
A man without a faith is like a fish without a bicycle.
A megaflop is a failure of gigantic proportions.
A movie studio is the best toy a boy ever had. -Orson Welles
A penny saved is ridiculous.
A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me.
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A radical is a person with both feet firmly planted in the air.
A real Initiation never ends.  -Aleister Crowley
A really busy person never knows how much he weighs. -Edgar Watson Howe
A song in time is worth a dime.
A system programmer is someone who debugs his programs with an oscilloscope.
A theory is better than an explanation.
A thousand throats may be slit in one night by a running man.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
A twisting road will take you to Warsaw, but you won't be bored.
A u.f.o. closely encountered is no longer a u.f.o.
A watched terminal, never prints.
A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire.
A witty saying means nothing.  -Voltaire
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. -Rudyard Kipling
AAAOO OOZOR AZZAZ ZAIEO AZAEI IIOZA KHOEO OOYTH OEAZA EAOOZ AKHOZ AKHEY THXAA LETHX KH
About all some parents accomplish in life is to send a child to Harvard.
About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
Absence is better than a cure.
According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are worthless.
Ad pulchritudinem tria requiruntur; integritas, consonantia, claritas. -Aquinas
Admiration is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
After 24 hours, corpses and guests smell bad.
Afternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly aurifers.
All dare to write, who can or cannot read. -Horace, `Epistles', Book II
All of the bridges between our today and our yesteryear have been burnt.
All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.
All that does not glitter is not not-gold.
All the ethics in Hollywood can be rolled up and fit into a gnat's navel.
All the good ones are taken.
All things considered, life is 9-to-5 against.
All things that are, are lights.
Almost all good computer programs contain at least one random-number generator.
Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.
America's best buy for a dime is a telephone call to the right person.
An asylum for the sane would be empty in America.
An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
An oscilloscope is what cavemen used to debug fire.  -Jim Veres
An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
And malt does more than Milton can/to justify God's ways to man  -A.E. Housman
And so to bed.
Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Any change or reform you make is going to have consequences you don't like.
Any country with "democratic" in the title isn't.
Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to sell it.
Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.  -Clarke
Anyone can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
Anyone who buys Wisconsin cheese is a traitor to mankind! -J. Pournelle
Anyone who understands my music will never be unhappy again. -L. Van Beethoven
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Are we not men?
Aries -- this is your lucky day!
Art is merely cheese made visible.
Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
As above, so below.
As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
As of Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL. Please update all programs.
Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
At the feast of souls failure is always the guest of honor.
Auribus teneo lupum.
Avoid reality at all costs.
Away put your weapon!  I mean you no harm.
BLISS is ignorance.
Bad taste is timeless.
Ban the bomb.  Save the world for conventional warfare.
Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.
Be sure to evaluate the bird-hand/bush ratio.
Be the sea, and see me be.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Beauty times brains equals a constant.
Becoming an overnight success usually takes years.
Been Transferred Lately?
Better to have failed your Wasserman than never to have loved at all.
Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act falls the shadow.
Beware -- local customs vary. Check with a native before going into the jungle.
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
Beware of low-flying butterflies.
Beware the foot of Nessus!
Beware:  the light at the end of the tunnel may be New Jersey.
Beyond a certain point, the whole universe becomes a continuous Initiation.
Biggus Diggus wants YOU.
Bignose from Winnetka.
Blessed St. Leibowitz, let them keep on dreamin' down there...
Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.
Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels.
Bourne again.
Brain fried -- core dumped
Brashith Alhim
Bring your wife or husband and pink slip for the best trade-in deal in town.
Bubble bubble, toil and trouble; cast that float into a double.
Build a better mousetrap, and nature will build a better mouse.
Build it so that even a fool can use it, and only a fool will want to use it.
Bus error -- core dumped
But he who kisses the joy as it flies/Lives in Eternity's sunrise.  -Wm. Blake
But many are not capable of a firm persuasion of anything.  -Wm. Blake
But you'll never become a rhinoceros...you haven't got the vocation!
But, Siriusly...
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
By the pricking of my thumbs,/Something wicked this way comes.
Campus Crusade for Cthulhu -- It found me.
Can all this just be an accident?  Or could there be some alien intelligence behind it?
Can tomorrow be more than just the end of today?
Cannot fork -- try again.
Captain Clark welcomes you aboard.
Caution -- be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear.
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.
Celibacy is not hereditary.
Center 1127 -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543
Centran manuals are available in 2B-515.
Charlie don't surf.
Children are hereditary: if your parents didn't have any, neither will you.
Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Cocaine is nature's way of saying you make too much money.
Cogito Ergo Spud.
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum.
Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
Communication is only possible between equals.
Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.
Continental Life. Why do you ask?
Convictions cause convicts -- what you believe imprisons you.
Could not open 2147478952 framebuffers.
Courage is something you can never totally own or totally lose.
Cowards die many times before their deaths;/The valiant never taste of death but once.
Crazee Edeee,  his prices are INSANE!!!
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
Cthulhu Saves! ... in case He's hungry later.
Dames lie about anything - just for practice. -Raymond Chandler
Damn it, i gotta get outta here!
Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
De minimis non curat lex.
Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
Death to all fanatics!
Deep down, we all need that escape velocity.  -Steven Spielberg.
Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
Department meeting in 3 minutes.
Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
Der Herrgott wurfelt nicht. -A. Einstein
Did you know ... that no-one ever reads these things?
Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
Die: to stop sinning suddenly.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Disco delenda est.
Disk crisis, please clean up!
Disobedience was Man's Original Virtue.  -Oscar Wilde.
Ditat Deus.
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
Do not drink coffee in early A.M.  It will keep you awake until noon.
Do not go gentle into that good night/Rage, rage against the dying of the light
Do not meddle in the affairs of troff; it is subtle and quick to anger.
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards: it makes them soggy and hard to light.
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards: they are subtle and quick to anger.
Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out if it alive.
Do not throw butts in the urinal: it makes them soggy and hard to light.
Do not throw butts in the urinal: they are subtle and quick to anger.
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
Do not use the blue keys on this terminal.
Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
Do what comes naturally now.  Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Does George know what he's got here?  -Steven Speilberg.
Does a firm persuasion that a thing is so make it so?  -Wm. Blake
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.
Don't commute, communicate.
Don't conscience-stricken before they're hatched.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't feed the bats tonight.
Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
Don't let your thoughts get in a rut. The knife which spreads may also cut.
Don't lie if you don't have to. -Leo Szilard
Don't look back -- something may be gaining on you.  -Satchel Paige.
Don't play games with me.  You weren't on any mercy mission this time.
Don't put a loaded rifle on the stage unless someone intends to fire it.
Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
Don't tell any big lies today.  Small ones can be just as effective.
Don't try to have the last word. You might get it.
Don't try to out-weird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
Don't type so hard.
Don't vote -- it only encourages them.
Don't worry -- dat mine, it can't hurt us -- it's one of ours.  -Eccles
Don't worry if it doesn't work right; if everything did, you'd be out of a job.
Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
Down with categorical imperative!
Dreams are free, but there's a small charge for alterations.
Dreams are free, but you get soaked on the connect time.
Drive defensively, buy a tank.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
E Pluribus Unix.
E Unibus Plurum.
E pur si muove.
EVACUATION ROUTE  ---->
Each man's death diminishes me for I am involved in Humanity.  -John Donne
Easy for you to type, I have to do all the work.
Eat snart foods.  -Unknown Jerome
Ego sum ens omnipotens.
Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.  -Groucho Marx' last words
Either we are alone or we are not.  Either way is mind-boggling.
Eleesosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.
English is a stretch language; one size fits all.  -W. Safire
Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.
Even a cabbage may look at a king.
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
Even paranoia can sometimes be taken to extremes.
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
Even the thousand-zloty note can't tapdance.
Even these days, it's not as easy to go crazy as you think.
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Every cloud has a silver lining; you should have sold it, and bought titanium.
Every law creates a whole new criminal class overnight.
Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
Every purchase has its price.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Every time you make something foolproof, along comes a better class of fool.
Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.
Everything breaks down.
Everything east of the San Andreas Fault will eventually plunge into the ocean.
Everything is funny so long as it is happening to someone else.  -Will Rogers
Everything takes longer than you think.
Everything you know is wrong.
Ewige Blumenkraft.
Excellent day for drinking heavily.  Spike the office water cooler.
Excellent day to have a rotten day.
Excellent time to become a missing person.
Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.
Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined.
Explicit liber viri elephantini.
External Security:
FORTRAN 8X combines the simplicity of PL/I and the parsimony of ADA. -S Feldman
Fact without theory is trivia, theory without fact is bullshit.
Facta, non verba.
Fairness?  Decency?  How can you expect fairness and decency on a planet of sleeping people?
Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
Favor negative lobes.
Fear is failure and the forerunner of failure.
Fear not, the end of the world isn't until next week.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Fiat lux.
Fiat voluntas tua.
Fine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.
Fine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.
First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.
Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressperson can.
Flee at once, all is discovered.
Flight 23 is down in the Bermuda Triangle.
Fnord.
For a good time, call 8367-3100.
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like.
Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown.
Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit.
Fortunate are they who can laugh at themselves; they will never want for amusement.
Frankly, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
Freedom is the right to be our own potty little selves.  -G. K. Chesterton
Freedom of incrustations of grime is contiguous with rectitude.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Future looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.
Gaffer's tape, like The Force, has a light and a dark side and binds the universe together.
Generousity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
Genius is the talent of a person who is dead.
Gentlemen, you can't fight here.  This is the war room.
Give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles.
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
Given enough inside information and unlimited credit, you've got to go broke.
Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Go out and see what the real world has to offer -Gerry Todd
God does not play dice.
God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends.
God is in the rock too -- in the rock!
God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
God not only plays dice with the universe, He loads the dice too.
Golden lads and girls all must,/Like chimney sweepers, come to dust.
Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall.
Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
Good day to avoid cops.  Crawl to work.
Good day to let down old friends who need help.
Good health is just the slowest, most lingering way of dying.
Good manners and bad breath get you nowhere
Good news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
Gort!  Klaatu barada...uh...uh...
Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some.
Government is just Anarchy's way of making more anarchy.
Great shot, kid.  That was one in a million.
Great warrior?  Heh-heh-heh.  Wars do not make one great.
Green light in A.M. for new projects.  Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
Growth itself becomes the only moral end. -John Dewey
Guns don't kill detectives -- love does.
Ha! You killed my husband, Sam.  Be kind to me.
Hail to the sun god/He sure is a fun god/Ra! Ra! Ra!
Half Moon tonight.  (At least its better than no Moon at all.)
Hangover is the wrath of the grapes.
Have a nice diurnal anomaly.
Have you done your Christmas chopping yet? -anon. White House Advisor 12/24/81
He can't think without his hat.
He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.
He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.
He serves the state best who opposes it most. -Thoreau
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
He was al coltissh, ful of ragerye,/And ful of jargon as a flekke pye. -Chaucer
He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes.
He who binds himself to a joy/Does the winged life destroy.  -Wm. Blake
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
He who has science and art has religion. -Goethe
He who hesitates is last.
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise.
He who keeps his nose to the grindstone, has a flat face.
He who laughs last is a little slow on the uptake.
He who laughs, lasts.
He who listens last is the last one listening.
He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
He who wears belt and suspenders needs tighter belt.
Hell hath no fury like a woman beaten out of a million dollars.
Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
Help conquer the IQ shortage: worry less and think more.
Help me, i'm a prisoner in a chinese computer terminal!
Hey, I've got it -- let's put on a show!
Hindsight is an exact science.
His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
His money is twice tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
History is a race between education and catastrophe.  -H. G. Wells
Hit space to start
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
Honi soit la vache qui rit.
Hop before you skip.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
How can I take an interest in my work when I don't like it?
How can you work when the system's so crowded?
How did the Universe manage to go bang in such an unreasonable way? -PCW Davies
How do I love thee?  Hand me my calculator...
How is it far, if you can think of it?
How long you live has nothing to do with how long you are going to be dead.
How sharper than a child's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.
How the elephant got into my pyjamas I'll never know.  -Marx, Animal Crackers
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
How you look depends on where you go.
Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid. 
Human kind cannot bear very much reality. -T.S. Eliot
Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue.
I am Magnus.  You are registered in my memory banks...
I am free of the wheel of Maya; I am dead to the dance of life.
I am large; I contain multitudes.
I am the Supreme Being, you know.  I'm not dim.
I am the beast, I am the Word of the Aeon...I am a hell of a Holy Guru.
I am the wandering glitch -- catch me if you can.
I can call spirits from the vasty deep./Why, so can I, or so can any man.
I can resist everything except temptation.  -Oscar Wilde.
I can't decide whether to throw you overboard or just change the way you look.
I cannot teach him.  The boy has no patience.
I contradict myself?  Very well, then: I contradict myself.  I am large.
I dinna believe she'll hold up much longer, Captin.
I do not sketch or design a work, I merely begin. -Joan Miro
I don't have a moral plan... I'm a Canadian. -David Cronenberg
I don't love you any more since you ate my dog.
I don't mind your thinking slowly; i mind your publishing faster than you think. -W. Pauli
I give presents to the mother, but I think of the daughter.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my educations.
I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry as I need it. -Cage
I have the most perfect confidence in your indiscretion.
I know the difference between real-real and drug-real.
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.
I never dringk ... wine.  -Bela Lugosi
I see no login here!
I see only darkness in the crystal ball
I sense something -- a presence I haven't felt since....
I taught him everything he knows.  Now he knows more.  -Randal L. Schwartz
I thank you from the heart of my bottom.
I think Isaac Newton is doing most of the driving right now.
I think my spaceship knows which way to go.
I think; therefore I am confused.
I will not suffer fools gladly, but I will gladly make fools suffer. -Bimmler
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
I wouldn't let a knight out on a dog like this!
I wouldn't marry her to a ten foot Pole.
I wouldn't marry him with a ten foot pole.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
I'd rather have my mail delivered by Lockheed than ride in a plane built by the Post Office.
I'll produce anything that gets high ratings.  -Anonymous NBC official
I'll smoke when the pope's wife takes the pill.
I'm a Hollywood writer; so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain.
I'm free -- and freedom tastes of reality.
I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
IOT trap -- core dumped
IOT trap -- core melted
If A=B and B=C, then A=C, except where void or prohibited by law.  -Roy Santoro
If Congress must do a painful thing, it must be done in an odd-numbered year.
If God could perform the tricks we do, He'd be a happy man.
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.
If God meant for Texans to ski, He would have made them a mountain.
If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.  -Albert Einstein
If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.
If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, it's safe to surf this beach.
If I should return in my absence, kindly detain me until I get back.
If I wanted your opinion, I'd tell it to you.  -Samuel Goldwyn
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
If anything can go wrong, it will.
If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
If bankers can count, why do they have eight windows and only four tellers?
If butterflies had teeth like tigers they would never make it out of the hangar.
If ever I utter an oath again may my soul be blasted to eternal damnation.
If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
If it doesn't matter, it does not matter.
If it happens, it must be possible.
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
If it's gratitude you want, get a dog. -- P. T. Barnum
If it's not broken, don't fix it.
If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
If it's worth doing well, it's worth doing.
If more is better then too much is just enough.
If music be the breakfast food of love, kindly do not disturb until lunch time. 
If the check is truly in the mail, it is surely made out to someone else.
If the coin is heads up don't pick it up.
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
If the facts do not support the theory, they must be disposed of.
If the government doesn't trust the people, why doesn't it elect a new people?
If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?  -Art Hoppe
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
If voting could change the system, it would be against the law.
If we'd all been living in California, we wouldn't have worked at ALL.
If you ask how much it is, you can't afford it.
If you can't stand the heat, remove your clothing!
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.  -Harry S. Truman
If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it.
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
If you don't insist on correct answers, I can make it run as fast as you want.
If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter how you get there.
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.
If you don't pay attention to every little detail, you miss most of the jokes.
If you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you have to lie to someone, it's their fault.
If you have to think twice about it, you're wrong.
If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?
If you start now you might finish on time.
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
If you take the last cup, make a new pot.
If you take the last pot, make a new cup.
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
If you think it's hard going to the moon, you should try staying home.
If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!
If you want to have clean ideas, change them like shirts.
If you were able to count up to infinity I'll bet you would never get over it.
If you're asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.
If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it.
If you're not apprehensive then you don't understand the situation.
If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment. - E. Rutherford
Ignore alien orders.
Ignore previous fortune.
Il faut cultiver son jardins.  -Voltaire
Illegitimi non carborundum.
Immanuel Kant but Kubla Khan.
In Africa the tusks are too firmly rooted, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
In addition to a yes and a no, the universe contains a maybe. -D. Finkelstein
In an evolving universe, who stands still moves backwards.
In challenging a kzin, a simple scream of rage is sufficient.
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
In nature there is immediate adjustment but no compulsion. -Chuang Chou
In rebus mathematicis errores quam minimi non sunt contemnendi.
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man can see across the road and prove it.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
In the land of the one-eyed men, the blind have to wear glasses.
In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
Incest, like charity, begins at home.
Insanity is always the best defense against boredom.
Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.  -N. Wirth
Intermittent resolutions lack potency. -Robert Silverberg
Into each life a little fallout must rain. -Baba Rebop
It got to a point where I had to get a haircut or a violin. -F.D.Roosevelt
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
It is a very sad thing nowadays that there is so little useless information.
It is absurd to deny the role of fantasy in even the strictest science. -Lenin
It is bad luck to be superstitious.  -Andrew W. Mathis
It is better to have loved and lost -- much better.
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark.
It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness, except at the Browns Ferry reactor.
It is better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven.  -Milton
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect?
It is fruitless to become lachrymal over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.
It is hard to sit with the turkeys when you soar with the eagles.
It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
It is the business of the future to be dangerous.  -Hawkwind
It is the wise bird who builds her nest in a tree.
It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
It steam-engines when it becomes steam-engine time.  -Charles Fort
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
It works better if you plug it in.
It's a hardware problem.
It's a sad woman who buys her own perfume.
It's a software problem.
It's a useless but absolutely vital precaution.
It's business doing pleasure with you.
It's clever, but is it art?
It's difficult to explain Kleenex to an aborigine.
It's earlier than you think.
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
It's later than you think.
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.  -Boston Mayor Kevin White
It's not cool enough for the eighties.
It's not easy to play the clown when you've got to run the whole circus.
It's not my fault -- it's a mechanical problem!
It's not my fault!
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
It's simple, clean, it works, and you can get it right now. -Mike O'Dell
It's some kind of instinct...This was an important place in their lives.
It's the law: Use a pun, go to prism (for minor refractions of the law only!)
It's worse than being at the theatre.
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday -- but never jam today.
Jesus saves, Moses invests, the Mongol Hoards, but only Buddah pays dividends.
Join me and I will complete your training.
Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
Kids are always the only future the human race has. -William Saroyan
Kill ugly radio!
Klaatu barada nikto.
Kleeneliness is next to Goedeliness.
Label on a bottle of pills: "Do not take these pills if this label is missing"
Lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
Lando's not a system, he's a man.  He's a gambler, scoundrel.  You'd like him.
Language is a virus from outer space.  -William Burroughs.
Language is all that separates us from the lower animals and the bureaucrats.
Laugh and the world laughs with you;  snore and you sleep alone.
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either.
Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, `Hold, enough!'
Leadership means taxes.
Lest men suspect your tale untrue,/Keep probability in view.  -John Gay (1727)
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Let no one unskilled in geometry enter here.  -Plato
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Let sleeping wraiths lie.
Let's look at the record.  -Al Smith
Li'l dollink, always fetful.
Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
Life is a giant shell and we're just processes.
Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
Life is hard but unjust.
Life is just a bowl.
Life is not for everyone.  -M. O'Donoghue
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
Little girls have pretty curls, but I like Oreos.
Little things come in small packages.
Live forever, or die trying.
Live long and perspire.
Living in the past has one thing in its favour - it's cheaper.
Local disks are our FORTRAN.  -Warren Teitelman
Long computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught.
Longevity is an optimist's heaven and a pessimist's hell.
Look after the molehills and the mountains will look after themselves.
Lose a few, lose a few.
Losing your servo track is just God's way of saying `BOOGA, BOOGA!'
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
Love is a many gendered thing.
Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac.
Love is only love, but money is forever.
Love the sea? I dote upon it - from the beach.
Love, and do what thou wilt.
Luke, don't give in to hate.  That leads to the dark side.
MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING
Macro context switch under way, please do not log out!
Make War, not Love: killing is fun too. -Nicholas von Hoffman
Making outside money using our computers has resulted in suspension.
Making sense makes more sense than not making sense. -T. Duff
Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.
Man cannot live by bread alone: frequently, there must be beverage, too.
Man cannot live by bread alone; he needs a little peanut butter on it.
Man has created death.  -William Butler Yeats
Man is in doubt to deem himself a god or beast. -Alexander Pope
Man muss entweder der Hammer oder der Amboss sein.
Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
Many are called, few are chosen.  Fewer still get to do the choosing.
Many are called, few volunteer.
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
Many pages make a thick book.
Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention.
Marriage is an attempt to change a night owl into a homing pigeon.
Masterpieces make their own rules.
May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits.
May you live all the days of your life.
May your rolling stone always grow grass that is greener underneath.
Mcc may be slow and generate bad code, but it took a long time to develop.
Medeis ageometretos eisito mou ten stegen.  -Plato
Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.  -Dorothy Parker.
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
Message will arrive in the mail.  Destroy, before the FBI sees it.
Micronics makes it simple.
Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
Military justice is to justice as military music is to music.  -Clemenceau
Military music is to music as military intelligence is to intelligence
Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
Misfortunes arrive on wings and leave on foot.
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love.
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
Most sacrilegious murder hath broke ope/The Lord's anointed temple.  -MacBeth
Most users are within a 10 mile radius.
Multi sunt vocati, pauci vero electi.
My broker is E. F. Hutton, and E. F. Hutton says...
My karma just ran over your dogma.
My way of joking is to tell the truth; it's the funniest joke in the world.
Naked is the best disguise.
National security is the chief cause of national insecurity.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be/For loan oft loses both itself and friend.
Nembutal numbs it all, but I prefer alcohol.  -Strummer/Jones
Never argue with a fool -- people might not know the difference.
Never buy a case of wine with eleven bottles.
Never call a man a fool.  Borrow from him.
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
Never eat in a restaurant that rotates or is above the 10th floor.
Never eat rutabaga on any day of the week that has a "y" in it.
Never give a inch!
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken.
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject.
Never stow away on a kamikaze plane.
New career ideas are worth pursuing.
New crypt. See /usr/news/crypt.
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
No directory
No directory!  Logging in with home=/
No good deed goes unpunished.
No jaggies!
No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
No news is good news.
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
No two ways about it, there are two sides to every story.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Nobody is truly sane until he feels gratitude to the whole universe.
Nobody knows anything, or if they do, they are careful to hide the fact.
Nobody takes computer graphics seriously, even the guys that do it. -T. Duff
Non serviam.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Not all the water in a rough rude sea/Can wash the balm from an anointed king.
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on Sundays.
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
Nothing difficult is ever easy.  -Steve Falco
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.
Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.
Nothing is true.  Everything is permissible.  -Hassan i Sabbah
Nothing matters indeed, its all in your mind...
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer by this sun of York.
O brave new world,/That has such people in't!
O dear Ophelia! I am ill at these numbers: I have not art to reckon my groans.
O.T.O. wants you.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
Of all things man is the measure.  -Protagoras
Oh, don't the days seem lank and long, when all goes right and nothing goes wrong.
Oh, so there you are!
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
Old age -- it's the only disease that you don't look forward to being cured of.
Omnibus ex nihil ducendis sufficit unum.  -Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
One Bell System -- it sometimes works.
One Bell System -- it works.
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms.  -H. L. Mencken
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
One picture is worth 128k words.
Only %d shopping days until Christmas.
Only God can make a random selection.
Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an elephant.
Only two things are infinite: the universe and human ignorance. -A. Einstein
Ontogeny recapitulates philogeny, or is that ontology recapitulates philology?
Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.  -Haeckel
Ontogeny rehashes phylogeny.
Order ignorant aliens.
Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
Otto's too so-so to toss soot, too sot to toot SOSs. So?
Our sponsor thought it was for ADA. In fact it was for C.
Our vision will speed up time, eventually deleting it.  -Alexander Schure
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
Password:
People get it into their heads that this is a democracy.  Well it isn't. -gwl
People really shouldn't spread gossip, but what else is it good for?
People tend to congregate in the back of the church and the front of the bus.
People usually do what other people have done before them.
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy us who do.
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.
Perfect love casteth out fear.
Person who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
Personality is a flimsy thing on which to build an art. -John Cage
Philosophy is the Rule of Life.
Philosopy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
Physician, bill thyself.
Please log off, the computer is out to lunch.
Please take note:
Pluralites non est punenda sine necessitate.  -Wm. of Occam
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.
Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
Populus vult decipi.
Pornography is in the groin of the beholder. -William F. Buckley
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.
Post proelium, praemium.
Pregnant ropuli.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.  -D. E. Knuth
Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today!
Prevention makes the heart grow fonder.
Primate behaviour only changes under the impact of new technology.
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
Put not your trust in money, but your money in trust.
Put your mouth where your mouth is.
Quantity is no substitute for quality, but its the only one we've got.
Quantum mechanics do it with uncertainty.
Questions are a burden for others; answers are a prison for oneself.
Rain before sunset, dark by midnight.
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
Reach out and grep someone.
Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
Real programs don't eat cache.
Reality is for those who can't handle drugs.
Reality is good for you...in small doses.
Reality is silly-putty.  -Paul Krassner
Reality seems harsher in the early morning.
Reason establishes the foundation of faith. Faith compensates the error of reason.
Reform always comes from below.  No man with four aces asks for a new deal.
Regnant populi.
Rei panta.
Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
Remember the Unknown Buffalo.
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes -- Pla-gi-a-rize! -Tom Lehrer
Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.
Render unto Caesar if line 54 is larger than line 62.
Repetition is a form of change.  -B. Eno
Research is a great career: you get paid for looking, regardless of results.
Ring around the collar.
Ring the bell; close the book; quench the candle.
Ritual is to the inner sciences what experiment is to the outer sciences. -Leary
Rotten wood can not be carved  -Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Ch. 9)
Round numbers are always false.  -Samuel Johnson (c. 1750)
SCCS: the source-code motel -- your code checks in but it never checks out. Ken Thompson
I don't have a moral plan... I'm a Canadian. -- David Cronenberg.
I don't mind thinking slowly; I mind publishing faster than you think. - Pauli
It's not reality that's important, it's how you perceive things.
Sailors in ships, sail on! Even while we died, others rode out the storm.
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
Save a forest -- eat a beaver!
Save the dot files!
Save yourself!  Reboot in 5 seconds!
Say "no" to long-sleeved shirts!!  Support your right to bare arms!
Say your prayers, you're going to Zen heaven.
Schroedinger might have been here.
Scintillate, scintillate, aster minific.
Screw up your courage!  You've screwed up everything else.
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
See that ocean -- that used to be some ocean. -Burt Lancaster in Atlantic City
Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.
Self denial is better than self degradation.
Sell everything. Market top has been reached. -Joseph Granville
Send not to ask for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
Senor, if you hurry from here, you will wait longer there. -Mexico taxi driver
Share your happiness with others today.
She canna take much more o' this, Mr. Spock.
Shift to the left!  Shift to the right! Pop up! Push Down! Byte, byte, byte!
Show respect for age.  Drink good Scotch for a change.
Silver is pure. It's been a symbol of justice and purity since the year of the sun.
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
Sink or Swim with Teddy!
Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
Smile ... tomorrow will be worse.
Smooth rotation butters no parsnips.  -J. W. Tukey
Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper.
Snob intellectual bachelors can't have fun in San Antonio.  -Ted Nelson
Snoopy has fleas.
Snow Day -- stay home.
Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.
Soft soap often has a high percentage of lye in it. -- Salada Tea
Solve et coagule.
Some day this war's gonna end.
Some days chicken salad -- some days chicken shit.
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.
Some things are better left unsaid.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. -Sigmund Freud
Sometimes you've gotta give it all you've got, because it just isn't enough.
Soon you will be sitting on top of the world.
Sooner or later everybody's gotta pay their tab.
Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
Space travel is utter bilge.  -Sir Richard Van Der Riet Wolley
Spare no expense to save money on this one.  -Samuel Goldwyn
Speaking of poison, I'll see that you get some fresh breakfast immediately.
Specialization is for insects.  -Robt. A. Heinlein
Spend extra time on hobby.  Get plenty of rolling papers.
Split a stick of wood, and the Christ is there, too.
Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
Stay away from flying saucers today.
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
Stop searching.  Happiness is right next to you.
Succumb to natural tendencies.  Be hateful and boring.
Sum quod eris.
Surprise due today.  Also the rent.
Surprise your boss.  Get to work on time.
Surveillance should precede salientation.
System down Tues. am for COBOL compiler installation.
System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crash.
System going down for 5 minutes -- back up in half an hour.
System going down in 5 minutes.
System might crash at any moment.
TSO -- it may be slow, but it's hard to use.
Tai Chi is self-defense for people on Quaaludes.
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
Take care of your peonies and the dahlias will take care of themselves.
Teach it ... phenomenology.
Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.
Terminals at home are always in the bedroom.
Thank God I'm an atheist.  -Aleister Crowley
Thank you for choosing UNIX -- batteries not included, some assembly required.
That goes against the laws of Physics.
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
That we can comprehend the little we know already is mindboggling in itself.
That which does not kill me makes me stronger.
That which does not kill me missed.
That which is above is in that which is below.
That's as American as pie charts.
The Angels want to wear my red shoes.
The Constitution gives us freedom of religion, not freedom from religion -R Reagan
The Force is strong with this one.
The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.
The Government urges you to remain calm.
The PIXAR -- it's not just a job, it's an adventure.
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
The UFO and the BVM seem to be the same phenomenon.  -Jacques Vallee
The United States Army: 194 years of proud service, unhampered by progress.
The aim of existence is to offer resistance to the flow of time.
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
The best prophet of the future is the past.
The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life.
The churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
The coroner gave you a clean bill of health.
The darkest hour is just before the storm.
The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
The early bird gets the coffee left over from the night before.
The early worm gets the bird.
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.
The empty fist always makes the deepest wound.
The end is closer than you think.
The enemy is ignorance [our own].  -Ezra Pound
The eyes believe themselves, the ears believe other people.
The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.
The first step in fixing something is getting it to break.
The fit between the world and the human symbols describing it is never perfect.
The fruits of impatience are bitter.
The further you get, the better it looks.
The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)
The future isn't what it used to be. -Arthur C. Clarke
The gods do not protect fools.  Fools are protected by more capable fools.
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
The hardest part of raising children is teaching them to ride bicycles.
The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee.
The judge's jokes are always funny.
The ketchup of sorrow is better than the mustard of happiness.
The last twenty-nine days of the month are the worst. -Nicola Tesla
The love of money is the mucilage of many a tragic friendship -Stuart McMillan
The man of knowledge can see several things at once.
The measure of the rigor of a science is the index of its ability to predict.
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.
The more complicated the mind, the more simple the play.
The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
The nervous system sees no color, feels no pain.  -T. Leary
The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.
The only one who got everything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.
The only sure things in life are net.suicide and net.taxes.
The only thing cheaper than hardware is talk.
The opera isn't over until the fat lady sings.
The opposite of a trivial truth is false; the opposite of a great truth is also true.
The pearl the squirrel the girl hit bit split.
The play's the thing/Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king.
The plural of spouse is spice.
The polhode rolls without slipping on the herpolhode lying in the invariant plane.
The policeman isn't there to create disorder, he's there to preserve disorder.
The prudent man does not hold his breath.
The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that they are pronounced "o".
The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that they are pronounced `o'.
The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.
The shorter the line, the slower it moves.
The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.  -Noelie Altito
The solution to the problem of life is seen in the vanishing of the problem.
The stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to staple something.
The strength of a nation lies in the integrity of its homes.  -Confucius
The stylus is more potent than the claymore.
The sword he sang a song of death/But could not make the sickle yield.  -Blake
The thing about Chinatown is, you can never be sure of anything down there.
The three faithful things in life are money, a dog and an old woman.
The three laws of physics: f=ma; things fall down; you can't push a rope.
The time is right to make new friends.
The unexamined life is not worth examining.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
The vanity of teaching often tempteth a man to forget that he is a blockhead.
The wheels of justice grind slow but fine.
The whole UNIX operating system was ripped off electronically.
The wise shepherdess never trusts her flock to a smiling wolf.
The world cannot be understood from a single point of view.  -Eleanor Roosevelt
The world ended yesterday-this is only a dream!
The world ended yesterday-why are you still here?
The world is a conspiracy of the unthinking against the unwitting.
The world is all that is the case. -Wittgenstein
The world is coming to an end!  Repent and return those library books!
Them that dishes it out need not fall over every time someone blows hard.
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,/Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.
There are no color bars in Cuba.
There is a fly on your nose.
There is a person with a shovel behind you ready to crack open your skull!
There is a tide in the affairs of men/Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
There is a world in which this sentence ends with a different word.
There is no bottom to worse.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
There is no gift like the present.
There is no governor anywhere; you are absolutely free.
There is no present like the TIMES.
There is no present like time.
There is no time like the pleasant.
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary building.
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
There was a phone call for you.
There's a broken light for every heart on Broadway.
There's a divinity that shapes our ends,/Rough-hew them how we will.
There's a sucker reborn every minute.
There's a vas deferens between man and woman.
There's always one more bug.
There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
There's insanity in my family; starting with me, tonight.
There's no place like home.
There's no room in the drug world for amateurs.
There's something in this universe that I don't understand. -T. Duff
They live happiest who have forgiven most.
They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
Things are more like they are now then they have ever been before. -Eisenhower
Things are more like they used to be than they are new.
Things that go without saying go even better if they are said.  -Talleyrand
Things will be bright in P.M.  A cop will shine a light in your face.
Think of your family tonight.  Try to crawl home after the computer crashes.
This *means* something.  -R. Neary
This fortune intentionally not included.
This fortune is inoperative.  Please try another.
This fortune is self-explanatory, once you understand it.
This fortune left blank intentionally.
This fortune was not meant for you.
This is Emmanuel. I got him from Emmanuel Training School. He's Emmanuel like.
This space available.  Call 686-7600 for details.
This statement is a lie.
This terminal is not for your use, please log off!
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
Thos who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Those who can't write, write manuals.
Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
Those who can, do; those who can't, write.
Those who can, do; those who can't, write.  Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record.
Those who in quarrels interpose must often wipe a bloody nose.
Those who talk don't know. Those who don't talk, know.
Thrashing is just virtual crashing.
Three shoes do not a hat make.
Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work. -Mark Twain
Time ends here, please go back the way you came.
Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.
Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
Time is three eyes and eight elbows.
Timesharing just doesn't work. -K. Thompson, 1982.
To be is to be related.
To be or not to be, those are the parameters.
To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
To cross again is not to cross.
To err is human, to forgive is not libary [sic] policy. quoted by Herb Caen
To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer!
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
To live without clocks is to live forever. -RLS
To make an enemy, do someone a favor.
To play billiards well is a sign of an ill-spent youth.
To possess another language is to possess another soul.  -Charles V
Today is a good day to bribe a high-ranking public official.
Today is the first day of the rest of your miserable life.
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
Today the pits, tomorrow the wrinkles -- Sunsweet marches on.
Together we must rise to higher and higher platitudes.  -Richard Daley
Together we will rule the galaxy, father and son.  Luke...it is your destiny.
Tonight's the night:  Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
Too Much.
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL. -Mae West
Torque is cheap.
Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.
Travel important today;  Internal Revenue men arrive tomorrow.
Tres sabios hubo en el mundo, Adan, Solomom y Raymundo.
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.
Truth is only skin deep.
Truth will be out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)
Try `stty 0' -- it works much better.
Try again
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
Turning the other cheek merely ensures two bruised cheeks.
Two fish in the sky are worth more than a bird in the sea.
UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
Unbidden guests/Are often welcomest when they are gone.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
Unemployment is not a disease; so it has no `cure.'
Unix soit qui mal y pense.
Unknown Jerome's -- Dorothy's desk -- $.25 while they last!!
Usura contra naturum est.
Usus, Quen penes arbitrium est, et jus, et norma loquendi.  -Horace
VAX/VMS -- Software for the 60's.
VAX/VMS is like a nightmare about RSX.
Versatility is one of your outstanding traits.
Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
Vigilia pretium libertatis.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.  -Salvador Hardin
Viva Nuestra Senora Guadalupe y jueron gubernacion mala.  -Father Hidalgo
Vote anarchist.
Warning: I brake for no apparent reason.
Warning: this fortune may change your life.
Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
Wasting time is an important part of living.
We aim to please, but our aim is bad.
We are faced with an insurmountable opportunity.  -- W. Kelley
We are not in any immediate danger of having solutions that exceed the needs.
We continue to overlook the fact that work has become a leisure activity.
We did it for nothing, we did it in an hour, and the whole thing worked.
We don't know half of what we know.
We haul ours to kick theirs.
We have met the enemy, and he is us.  -Walt Kelly
We have the finest politicians money can buy.
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
We place no reliance/on Virgin or pigeon;/Our method is science,/Our aim is religion.  -Aleister Crowley
We regard matrimony as a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
We retard what we cannot repel, we palliate what we cannot cure. -Johnson
We seem to be made to suffer.  It's our lot in life.
We shall never get people whose time is money to take much interest in atoms. -S. Butler
We try harder, they do better.
We want no foreign rulers - fight the metric system.
We would like to apologize for the following announcement:
We've lost 4 crays to the open environment.
Welcome to the working week.
Well, the handwriting is on the floor. -Joe E. Lewis
Well, we had Chinese food again for lunch.
What I like about scientists is that they are a team, so that one need not know their names. -J Wilmot
What I tell you three times is true.  -The Hunting of the Snark.
What do you call a half-dozen Indians with Asian flu?  Six sick Sikhs (sic).
What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
What good are the games if you ain't got the power?
What have you done for Vic lately?
What if I go to New York and can't trust a menu?
What is mind? No matter.  What is matter? Never mind.  -Thomas Hewitt Key
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?  -Peter S. Beagle
What's in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet.
What's it all about?  We're all tools.  Life's just a crock.
What's the point to combing your hair when it's grey and thinning?
When all else fails, read the instructions.
When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.
When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.
When better machines are built, greg will break them.
When bigger machines are built, scj will saturate them.
When does later become never?
When everyone's out to get you, paranoia is just good thinking.
When faced with the obvious -- look elsewhere.
When four sit to conspire, three are government agents, and the other a fool.
When in doubt, lead trump.
When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles; scream and shout.
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
When the Lord gets ready, you got to move.
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
When the going gets tough, the tough hold meetings.
When the map and the terrain disagree, trust the terrain. -Swiss army aphorism
When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
When traveling with a herd of elephants, don't be first to lie down and rest.
When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
When you need a sledgehammer, the finest scalpel just won't do.
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried before. -Mae West
Where do you think you are, Civilization?
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.  -Wittgenstein
Who can worry about a super-hero who vanishes when you change channels?
Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
Who is the slayer, who the slain?  Speak...  -Sophocles, Oedipus Rex
Who knows if there are any answers? -Edmund G. Brown, Jr.
Who needs companionship when you can sit alone in your room and drink?
Who's afraid of Louisa May Alcott?
Whom the gods must destroy they first must drive insane.
Why do we have two eyes?  To watch 3D movies with.
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?  -Lily Tomlin
Why worry about tomorrow, when today is so far off?
Will nobody help the widow's son?
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
With redeeming social value like yours, no wonder you're obscene.
With/Without -- and who denies it's what the fighting's all about?
Women seldom show dimples to guys who have pimples.
Wonderful girl!  Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her.
Words are the voice of the heart.
Words must be weighed, not counted.
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. -C.N. Parkinson
Worth seeing? Yes, but not worth going to see.
Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
Yamata wasami shuza.
Yea, from the table of my memory/I'll wipe away all trivial fond records.
Yogsothoth Neblod Zin.
You always think you know what you're doing, but you're too slick for your own good.
You are going to have a new love affair.
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
You are original and creative.
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
You auto buy now.
You can create your own opportunities this week.  Blackmail a senior executive.
You can lead a horticulture but you cannot make her think. - Dorothy Parker
You can't beat the bugs.
You can't build a bomb at 300 baud.
You can't capitalize your cake and expense it too.
You can't comb a hairy ball smooth.
You can't fall off the floor.
You can't go home again, unless you set $HOME
You can't have everything -- where would you put it?
You can't teach a dead dog new tricks.
You can't win, you can't break even, and you can't get out of the game.
You can't win.  But there are alternatives to fighting.
You cannot buy beer; you can only rent it.
You cannot cross a chasm in two steps.
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
You cook it, you sell it.
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
You don't have to play tennis any more, or talk to anyone who does.
You don't really want to know what the future holds for you.
You had mail.
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
You have been selected for a secret mission.
You have been transfixed by the gaze of the Edlund.--More--
You have bills.
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
You have made an excellent hit on the UNIX.--More--
You have mail.
You have personal talents that are attractive to others.  Be sure to use them.
You have plate mail.
You have slowmail.
You have snails.
You have splint mail.
You have taken yourself too seriously.
You have the capacity to learn from mistakes.  You'll learn a lot today.
You know, you never know.
You look strong enough to pull the ears off a Gundark!
You may be recognized soon.  Hide.
You may have a friend at the Chase Manhattan but at our bank you have meshpocheh!
You might have mail.
You never know what you don't know, you know?
You now have Asian Flu.
You remind me of a TV show, but that's all right: I watch it anyway.
You scream and you leap.
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
You should go home.
You tend to be shy when undressing outdoors.
You want it bad, you'll get it bad.
You weren't here so we did it anyway.
You will attend a party where strange customs prevail.
You will be Told about it Tomorrow.  Go Home and Prepare Thyself.
You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
You will make a small sum by investing in a business project.
You will make a small sum disappear by investing in a business project.
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
You win some, you lose some, and some go into extra innings.
You worry too much about your job.  Stop it.  You are not paid enough to worry.
You'll just have to sleep faster tonight.
You're being followed.  Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
You're so bossy you ought to be milked before you come home at night.
You're so ugly you couldn't even get a date with an automated bank teller.
You've always got the option of having just committed suicide!
You've been leading a dog's life.  Stay off the furniture.
Your best dreams may not come true; but then neither will your worst dreams.
Your computer account is overdrawn.  Please reauthorize.
Your editor doesn't always know best.
Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive
Your empty file directory has been deleted.
Your login has been changed.
Your love life will be happy and harmonious.
Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
Your password is pitifully obvious.
Your present plans are going to succeed.
Your supervisor is thinking about you.
Your theory is crazy, but not crazy enough to be true.
`By the way, microcode is no big deal.  You can emulate it in random logic.'
`Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.'
`He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes...'
`Otto' spelled inside out is `toot.'
`Qvid me anxivs svm?'
`The time (6:39 pm) has come,' the Walrus said, `to talk of many things...'
`The time has come,' the Walrus said, `to talk of many things...'
`We don't care.  We don't have to.  We're the Phone Company.'
`is false when preceded by its quotation' is false when preceded by its quotation.
`is not a sentence' is not a sentence.
chess tonight
f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr pgmng.
f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n tk wr
f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
fortune: Command not found.
fortune: not found
go suck on an infinite tube.
gt: warning -- bad idea to override alpha computation on matted-to-black target
hang in there, hammock-nose
no shell.
panic: trap
pm monday am
startup: system error -- directory deleted
too much.
Gallium Arsenide is the material of the future and it always will be.
Unix is the only significant operating system whose documentation fits in a student's briefcase. John Lions (Fixed in 4.1BSD)
Programming and puddings demand consistency.
`I saw it with my own eyes' means you wanted to see it.
There used to be men and women.  Now there are men and persons.
If some day it should happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list, I've got a little list.
You cannot count friends that are all packed up in barrels.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
A mighty maze! but not without a plan. -Pope
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Real programmers can't say `lint' without following it with `hbaxcu.' -Wm Leler
Once TOAD is operational, how frequently would you expect to access TOAD?
jim is a nice editor except that it runs on the Blit. -- W. Joy
The Blit is a nice terminal, but it runs emacs.
The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected. - 2nd Edition UNIX manual
The number of approved [COBOL] subsets has been reduced from 104,976 to 54. - JM Triance
You can get HELP any time you are using TEACH by returning to the command state and typing "S 160".
Even if I could be Shakespeare, I think I should still choose to be Faraday. - A. Huxley
If I could remember the names of all these particles I'd be a botanist. - Fermi
The one interesting fact about the Diplodocus is that the accent is on the second syllable.
    ON ENDFILE(SYSIN)  GO TO ADATHIBA;  /* FILE-VEGE VIZSGALATA */
Hi, this is Ken. What's the root password?
Home is where / is.
If you want to go somewhere, goto is the best way to get there. K Thompson
Beauty is only sin deep. H H Munro
C'est CHouette.  Swiss bumper sticker
Y drag goch yr y gchwyn!
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
The sterile pleasure of being right tends to get stale in the course of a lifetime.  EW Dijkstra
One scythe fits all.
Shadows slick as eels slither through.
Expected arrival date is presently unknown. Dave Kristol
A recently completed trial proved TOAD Generic 1 to be reliable, user-friendly, and convenient.
The 3B2 Model 100 - the first machine with cat -v in ROM!
awk: Usage: awk [-f source | 'cmds'] [files]; record number 3.55646e-311
You can't forward backward. - Dan Nowitz
It's time to gearshift up from the crawl we've been in to a full trot. - Jack Scanlon
The SUN really is a hunk of junk. - Tom Duff
Maybe I should have screwed up. - Ken Thompson
Die ich rief, die Geister, / Werd ich nun nicht los.
Don't rely on your nose -- TEST ATMOSPHERE!
Eileen L. Behr has translated her skill in public speaking into a successful career selling capacitors.
Restrain your octopus!  The canoes are going fishing tomorrow.
Whenever the Queen comes to New Zealand the Maori people suffer a disaster.
Have you hugged Joe Condon today?
4.2BSD may not be a complete disaster, but it does a good job of emulating one.
CB is a great place to work. There are so many good going away parties.
Why is it called a stream I/O system when the data flows both ways?
We never stand still longer than it takes to have an argument.
The screen rectangle must be charged with emotion.  Hitchcock
You may enjoy the infamous PEOPLExpress snack pack for one dollar.
Give me a rock, paper and scissors and I will move the world.  CCFestoon
Had Cleopatra's nose been shorter, the whole history of the world would have been different. - Pascal
I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone
Niagara Falls would be much more impressive if it flowed the other way. - Oscar Wilde
California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen
Ducking for apples.  Change one letter and it's the story of my life. _ Dorothy Parker
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - Henry V, part II.
There is no sin except stupidity. - Oscar Wilde
An artist is never ahead of his time, but most people are far behind theirs. - Varese
awk: illegal statement 206620
All my men wear badges, or they wear nothing at all.
The sheep - symbolic creature of docility, sacrifice and stupidity.
We should acknowledge the 10000-year sheep heritage of mankind. - Judge Clyde Burch.
If we turn on the lights fast enough, we'll see what the dark looks like.
My program is so jammed with clever tricks - GJ Holzmann
"The Dresser," first a play, then a movie, then AT&T headquarters.
The null string has always been a productive source of off-by-0 errors.
The contrary of an aggregate is the compound of the contraries of the aggregates. - De Morgan
The contrary of a compound is the aggregate of the contraries of the components. - De Morgan
From EXPLMY: Serious internal error, check the error code in the documentation of VRFYMY.
"x.c", line 1: cannot recover from earlier errors: goodbye!
A Point is a pair of shorts.
	case '\7': *((char *)(384*1024L+062)) = 2;	/* beep */
I have NEVER written a program in C!  Narain Gehani
It's an empty head that wears a hairpiece. - Pauline Kael
"Analysis" is "design" spelled backwards.
"Sdrawkcab delleps esnes yna ekam t`nseod" doesn't make any sense spelled backwards.
"Sound advice" is usually mostly sound with not much advice.
%-W-NORML Normal Successful Completion
55mph -- It's not a good idea, it's just the law.
A consistent indentation style is the hobgoblin of little minds.
A fool and his money stabilize the economy.
A gentleman is one who is never rude unintentionally.  -Noel Coward
A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.
A hydrogen bomb doesn't care how brave you are.
A liberal is one who is too open-minded to take his own side in an argument.
A man does not attain the status of Galileo merely because he is persecuted;  he must also be right. -Stephen Jay Gould
A penny saved is a political breakthrough.
A penny saved kills your career in the Pentagon.
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
A rose by any other name would still have thorns.
A stitch in time keeps your tu-tu from becoming a four-four.
A578 Your FLP overflows into your KBUF.
Ablata at alba.
All the great men are dead and I'm not feeling too well myself.
All you need to know is in the manual.
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an *art*. -Chas. McCabe
Any man's speeding ticket on the Interstate diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind.
Anyone's life is incomplete unless they are, in some smaller or larger way, saving the world.
Arabic is a language, Persian is a sweetmeat, and Turkish is an art.
Are you kidding?
Are you sure you want a two dimensional array?
Automating a mess yields an automated mess. -Michael Hammer
Ave discordia.
Better be right or your big venture goes wrong. -Resistor color code mnemonic
Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same.
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas Unix. -Henry Spencer
Can all this just be an accident?  Or could there be some alien intelligence behind it?
Capitalism is indeed obsessed with money, but Marxism is obsessed with Marxism.
Club sandwiches, not baby seals.
Cocaine is nature's way of telling you that you make too much money.
Constants aren't.  Variables don't.  LISP does.  Functions won't.  Bytes do.
Contains no kung fu, car chases or decapitations.
Core Error - Bus Dumped
Creativity is no substitute for knowing what you are doing.
Dames is like streetcars -- The oceans is full of 'em. -Archie Bunker
Dangerous knowledge is a little thing.
Data potato, du wop du wop.
Do not confuse boredom with security.
Do not confuse effort with work.
Does the early bird enjoy the worm as much as the late bird enjoys the sleep?
Don't get mad, make book.
Don't worry, it's not loaded.
Don't worry, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist
Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?
ERROR CREEPOUT HAS BEGUN
Eat snart foobs.  -Unknown Jerome
Even the simplest solution is bound to have something wrong with it.
Ever wake up feeling like a null pointer? -Allan Pratt
Everything should be as simple as possible, but no simpler. - A. Einstein
Everything's been said before, but nobody's listening, so keep repeating.
Exhibition will continue to decline and  ultimately lead to other sources of entertainment.
Expected arrival date
 is presently unknown.
 Dave Kristol
FOR SALE: Schroedinger's cat.  Might be alive.  Might not.
Facta, non verba -- et verbum caro factus est.
Far too noisy, my dear Mozart.  Far too many notes. -Emperor Ferdinand.
Fill what's empty; empty what's full; scratch where it itches. -Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Find the enemy and shoot him down; everything else is rubbish. -M. von Richthofen
First things first.  Why not send for the Nazis right now.
Fortran est; non potest legi.
Generalizations are useful.  The work contained in them can be reckoned as labor and therefore can create value.  -G.W. Hegel
Go suck on an infinite tube.
Good Rule: Don't put anything in your mouth labeled "HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED"
Good day for flaming at floyd!trb.
Good day to do the unexpected:  write some documentation.
Good day to write a purchase requisition for a 747.
Good intentions don't mean anything unless they can deliver.
Graecum est; non potest legi.
Hang by your pseudopod, write if you find a warm rich planet ripe for conquest.
Hang in there, hammock-nose.
Have you hugged my T-shirt today?
He that laugheth in the face of death haveth the last laugh.
He who hesitates is scrap metal.
He who trains his tongue to quote from learned sages will be known far and wide as a smartass.
Hypothesize and test.
I don't like to walk, and I don't like to paddle. -James Watt
I don't mind thinking slowly; I mind publishing faster than you think. -Pauli
I have 36 rolls of 5247 for our use in the laser fridge...
I have everything we will need.
I haven't lost my mind.  I've got it backed up on tape somewhere.
I kissed my first lady and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.  I have never had time for tobacco since. -Arturo Toscanini
I like user-hostile ignorance-based amateur systems.
I love you.
I new it was coming and I still felt as if I'd swallowed a snowcone whole.
I regard an original error as better than a borrowed truth. -Merton.
I was just going to call you.
I wish I had time to explain dimensional transcendentalism -Dr. Who
I wonder what will happen if I touch these two wires together.
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you.
I've done this before and never had any trouble.
If God had meant Texans to ski, he would have made bullshit white.
If I could remember the names of all these particles I would have been a botanist. -- Enrico Fermi
If Lincoln were alive today he would be spinning in his grave. -G. Ford
If a thousand people say a foolish thing, it remains a foolish thing.
If ignorance were cornflakes, you'd be General Mills.
If it were dangerous they would post a sign...
If the "medium is the message" then the message of low-bandwidth timesharing is "blah". -- Alan Kay
If there are any resources you need to get this job done, just let us know.
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Illegal Arbitrator - Line 23
In New York they signal the wrong way just to fuck you up.  -David Yost
In any society, the correct pronunciation is the dialect that has an army.
In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!".
In communism Man exploits Man.  In capitalism it's the other way around.
In comparison with the ancients, we stand like dwarfs on the shoulders of giants. -Bernard of Chartres
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni.
In order to make an omelette, you have to break a few cooks.
It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect one.
It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down. -Paul Newman
It would appear that even BTL employees put their pants on one leg at a time.
It's 5 o'clock.  Do you know where your files are?
It's Your Environment -- Use It Up!
It's a small world, but I'd hate to have to paint it.
It's hard to love someone who looks down on you because your hands get bloody protecting him.
It's just a silly native superstition.
It's lonely at the top, but it's lonelier at the bottom.
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
It's not the time between the takes that takes the time - it's changing your mind between the takes that takes the time. -Stage Dept.
It's not the time it takes to take the takes that takes the time, it's the time it takes between the takes that takes the time. -S. Spielberg
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
It's only a game!
Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Justice for the poor is much less popular than revenge on the rich.
Ken Thompson can't beat Belle.  So what?  How fast can Seymour Cray add?
Let's just take this shortcut across this field.  That bull doesn't see us.
Life is a game:  whoever dies with the most toys wins.
Life is a mystery -- love is a dancer.
Lord?  We don't have no lord.  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
Luchamos contra el Wombat, otra enemigo de la humanidad. -Frente Wombato de Liberacion Nacional
Machne oprating at olny tn prcnt eficientcy.
Money cannot buy happiness, but happiness will not buy groceries.
Money is a terrible thing to follow but a charming thing to meet.
Mr. President!  We cannot allow ... a MINE-SHAFT GAP!
NOT NOT NOT ALLOWED
Never worry the boss unnecessarily.  Don't tell him.
Niagara Falls is the second-biggest disappointment in a bride's life. -O. Wilde
Nihilism means nothing to the dancing peasants.
No good deed goes unpunished.  -Clare Booth Luce.
No mistake is too small to be fixed, but first make sure it's a mistake.
No note is too high to be taken down an octave.
No user jobs will be lost because of the crash.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
Nothing of interest ever happened on this day.
Nothing works.  No one knows why.  And some jerk is talking French. -Bob Lied
OK, I think I understand.
One bad apple can ruin a snake.
One starts life with a swelled head and ends with swelled feet. -Ezra Pound
Our ancestors may have been ignorant, but they were not stupid.
Out of the mouths of babes comes semi-digested Pablum.
Overall there is a smell of fried onions.  (fnord)
Panem et circenses, that's what the public wants.
Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway oh, God, I'm so depressed...
People never go there anymore; it's too crowded. -Yogi Berra
People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten. -Jon Bentley
Per omnia saecula vombatidae.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -Don Marquis
Proper planning includes admitting that your plan may not work.
Real programmers can't say `lint' without adding `hbaxcu' -Wm Leler
Remember that "almost" means "not".
Remember when you asked me to tell you when you were being inconsiderate?
Rog-O-Matic callidus est.
Rog-O-Matic perditus est.
Rule 5 Violation
SYS ERROR 0 - no error detected
Schroedinger's cat is sitting on Heisenberg's shoulder and they are both laughing at you.
Secret mail has arrived.
Sex with someone you don't love is just gymnastics--and I hate exercise. -John Derek
Si nummi immunis.
So long as radicals honor theory over facts, they will continue to dismantle their successes.
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed. -- Francis Bacon
Sometimes it seems to me that men are children grown incompetent. -Carl Whitaker
Stack overflow in crawlout.  User environment re-initialized.  (FATAL$)
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a laser beam is another matter.
Stop worrying, you'll never get out of this world alive.
Subject: Re: Re: Clar ... HUMBUG! - Wrongthink st - (nf)
Sure [Somoza]'s a son-of-a-bitch, but he's OUR son-of-a-bitch.  -F.D. Roosevelt
TERROR IN THE OUTPUT FILE  A  A
Technological unemployment is total today -- 300 years ago we were all farmers.
Tell the girls to slice the ham thin.
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
The $SIGNON command is a risky practice.
The Beatles?  Isn't that Paul McCartney's old band?
The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.
The Luddites always lose.  Always.
The Moral Majority are the people our ancestors came from Europe to escape.
The Tao which can be talked about is not the Tao.  -Lao Tzu
The UNIX system is harder to use than a toaster.  -Kaare Christian
The US Marines:  the Few, the Proud, the Dead on the Beach.
The average legislator is somewhere nearly all the time. -Herb Nore
The check is in the mail.
The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
The difference between a thief and the IRS is that the thief doesn't audit you afterwards.
The difficult we gave up on yesterday, the impossible we are giving up on now.
The end justifies the meanness.
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein - it rejects it.  -Peter Metawar
The map is not the territory. -A. E. Van Vogt, in World of Null-A
The official state animal of New York is the cabbie.
The official state tree of North Dakota is the telephone pole?
The only way out of a circle is through the center.
The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rain.
The problem with a just economy is, who runs the Bureau of Economic Justice?
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
The voice of the people is odd,/It is, and it is not, the voice of God. -Pope
There are only three kinds of proof:  induction, exhaustion, and intimidation.
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
There used to be men and women, now there are men and persons.
There'll always be an England - if not it would be necessary to invent one.
There's a difference between ethical people and nice people.  You can't trust nice people.
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... -- last words of Gen. John Sedgewick
They laughed at Copernicus; they laughed at Galileo; they laughed at Bozo the Clown.
Things are more like they are today than they ever were before. -Dwight D Eisenhower
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
This is a full standard Kernighan & Ritchie C compiler.
This machine does not exist!  Boy am I confused!
This system hasn't crashed in ages.
This time for sure!
This will hurt me more than it hurts you.
Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
To be clear is professional; not to be clear is unprofessional. -- Sir Ernest Gowers
To err is human; that's why I'm comfortable around Gods.
Toutes choses sont dites deja, mais comme personne n'ecoute, il faut toujours recommencer.
Transformation is invested with the mysterious and the painful.
Trust Me.
Two heads are better than a bath and a half.
Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
Two wrongs don't make a right.  Two Wrights make airplanes.
Unix is the only significant operating system whose documentation fits in a student's briefcase. -John Lions (Fixed in 4.1BSD)
Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit.
Vox populi, vox Dei. -Alcuin
WAR IS PEACE.  INFORMATION IS SLAVERY.  OUR FUTURE IS IN OUR HANDS.
Watch out for quantum ducks:  Quark!  Quark!
We are experiencing network trouble -- do not adjust your illegal descrambler.
We are faced with an insurmountable opportunity.  -W. Kelley
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming. -von Braun
We don't need a standard; Kernighan & Ritchie completely defines the language.
We have a really challenging assignment for you.
We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately. -Franklin
We offer every assistance short of actual help.
We shall never understand one another until we reduce the language to seven words. -K. Gibran
We won't need reservations.
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it...
We're scientists.  We have to do things we hate -- that even sicken us.
What did you throw that book I wanted to be read to out of out for?
What do you mean the 8080 & the 6502 are incompatible?  They're both NMOS!
What good is someone who can walk on water if you can't follow in his footsteps?
What is now proved was once only imagined. -William Blake
When an Okie moves to California, he raises the IQ of both states.  -Will Rogers
When better machines are built, jks will break them, and td will bitch about it.
When bigger machines are built, scj will saturate them.
When more and more people are out of work unemployment will result. -Calvin Coolidge.
When you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, then DO!
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried before. -Mae West
Who ordered that? -I.I. Rabi on the discovery of the muon
Why do they have this marked "Danger, do not touch"?
Why polish the corners off a sphere in a roomful of cubes?
With the wind in the east I can tell an eagle from a hammer.
Wombat omnia vincet.
Yes, the red switch.
You can tell a man by the company that keeps him.
You can't miss it.
You make the megabucks, I make the nanobucks...it's YOUR problem.
Your opponent wouldn't fight if he didn't think he had a chance.
Zero is greater than minus zero, but don't ask by how much. -6600 ref. manual
jim is a nice editor except that it runs on the Blit. -W. Joy
not not not Algol
uuxqt cmd (rnews ) status (ucsfcgl!uucp 256)
Smoked carp is terrible unless you're out of smoked salmon.
The move of bambam functionality to the new AP bugs is re-scheduled to Friday night
I am a high-pressure guy, and I didn't take this job to conduct a going-out-of-business sale. - A.A. Penzias
When faced with two evils, one asks why only two?
A bad workman quarrels with his tools.
I think that I shall never see a billboard as lovely as a tree. -Ogden Nash
UNIX acts as an equalizer of the hardware playing field.  J. Scanlon
During 1986, UNIX will dominate the low end.  J. Scanlon
What did you throw that book I wanted to be read to out of about Down Under out for?
After all, a murderer is only an extroverted suicide.
The dawning of the Information Age is bringing about dramatic changes in the fundamental fabric of our civilization. - AA Penzias
No branch is better than its trunk.
The connotation depends on the beacon. - Mark V. Shaney
I'll eat it if I'm wrong.  I mean a potato. - Danny Sleator
Need a personal problem? Get a personal computer. - C. P. Killian
The fear of the lord was discovered before vitamins.
unknown troff command: We will interpret typing statements A@imp#M:@gr(s)#
Netnews is someone yelling "Anybody wanna buy a used car?" in a crowded theater.
The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that ontology recapitulates philology.
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are pronounced "o".
Toto, I've a feeling we're not in any immediate danger of having just committed suicide!
CB is a many gendered thing.
Niagara Falls is the wise bird who builds her nest in a chinese computer terminal!
I kissed my first cigarette on the stage unless someone intends to fire it.
I regard an original error as better than no Moon at all.
Do not meddle in the mouth.
Androgyny recapitulates philately.
A more wretched hive of scum and villainy: not found.
All the great men are dead and I'm not feeling too well myself.
Aren't you glad his name wasn't Alexander Graham Siren?
Bosses never realize that a bottle neck is always at the top.
C'est dommage, mais c'est vrai.
Espanol tiene demasiada mucha grammatica.
Every good subversive does it for fun.  -Rich Rosen
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.  -H.S. Thompson
Hodie tempum scriptire in Latinum non habeo.  Cras epistlum submissibo.
How did the Universe manage to go bang in such an unreasonable way? -- PCW Davies
I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats; I tell them the truth and they never believe me. -Cavour
I love Pascal ... I'm also into leather.
I never refuse. I never contradict. I sometimes forget. -Disraeli
I'm sorry, but I've made other plans.
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.
If it's boring, turn it off.
If it's gratitude you want, get a dog. -P. T. Barnum
If you can't find enough radiation at Ralph's, you can probably do without it.
It takes approximately two minutes to reposition the continents from one geological era to another.
It's funny how they work so well, even when
 they're not appropriate.
It's hard to be mellow when you can't stand up.
It's not a car, it's a Volkswagen.
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
Jesus Rodrigues has a 9-inch duck.
Just be glad you don't get all the government you pay for.  -Will Rogers
Look on my works, oh ye mighty, and giggle.
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer in Northern California.
One man's Mede is another man's Persian.
Ooh, Andy Tannenbaum?  His netnews is SO derivative.
Reason is a universal instrument which can serve on any kind of occasion. -Descartes
Respect you in the morning?!  Hell, I don't even respect you now.
So narrow minded is the boss that he has to stack his ideas vertically.
That must be wonderful! I dont understand it at all.
That's the nice thing about standards -- there's so many to choose from. -trb
The human brain is not a pretty sight.
The tree of research must from time to time be refreshed with the blood of bean counters. -Alan Kay
There are two kinds of people in the world -- those who are, and those who aren't.
They were easy to tell apart: the good Kirk was paid by William Shatner and the evil one by Gavin McLeod.
They were easy to tell apart: the good Kirk wore cottons and wools and the evil Kirk wore nylons and polyesters.
Things always look darkest just before they go totally black.  -Col. Hannibal Smith
U.S. out of OAKLAND!
Vivaldi did not write 600 concerti grossi.  He wrote the same one 600 times. -Stravinski
We are faced with an insurmountable opportunity.  -W. Kelley
We use it but we do not love it. -Goethe
Why be a second rate Ravel when you can be a first rate Gershwin?
Why don't we store the blank punch cards on disk, and get rid of all those boxes.
Without alkaloids, life itself would be impossible.
Yesterday's sensation is today's calibration and tomorrow's background. -Valentine Telegdi
You know, Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
You will get a better gorilla effect if you use as big a piece of paper as possible.
`Compared to academic politics, political politics is a nice, clean game.' -S. I. Hayakawa, SF Examiner 4/23/84
`She read her boyfriend's mind, and they're no longer going together,' Mrs. Resch added.
``I'm a hugger, I'm a tactile politician,'' Turner said.
ftp> Globbing off.
ftp> Globbing on.
Buick offers inbred american quality. -TV ad
We're too close to System Test.
A 6-char limit is like a 6-inch trout: throw it back.
I hope that there are sour apples in every bushel.
I hate programs that chdir - Boyd Roberts
Never attribute to malice what can be found in scientific american, under computer recreations.
A big book is a big nuisance. - Callimachus, librarian of Alexandria
4.2BSD is a nightmare about Tenex. - Ian Darwin
A liberal is one too open-minded to take his own side in an argument.
Basic is like doing arithmetic with Roman numerals. - MD McIlroy
ICIKL: DO I = 1 /* BY +1 FELTETELEZESEVEL */ TO 2*N;
A 10.0-szer 0.1 sohasem 1.0!
Don't forget to run "make depend"
2 is always smaller than 3, even for large values of 2.
These numbers DO NOT appear to belong to anybody: 315 323 372 375 602 765 772 903 914
If it isn't like TECO, it's not worth using. -Rae McLellan
Exercise is the Yuppie version of bulemia.
Your First Amendment ends where the next persons Bill of Rights begins. P. Michael Guba
Unix: from now on, consider it dead. -Mike O'Dell
"The more you drive ... the less intelligent you are." -- Miller, in Repo Man
Things are only as bad as they are and can only get worse if they do!
There is no language in our lungs.
We don't care, we don't have to-- we used to be the phone company.
If they gave me a goldfish, I would cook it. -Feng Jicai
These calculations even schoolchildren can master in three-four days. -Maimonides
Multilevel standards are like onions. They're smelly and make you cry a lot. -Ron Natalie
For me, UNIX is a way of being. -Armando P. Stettner
Plunk your magic twanger, froggy.
Some of us feel that there is a loss of scholarship here, and we're not too happy about it. -Irvin Lustig
What distinguishes good software from poor software is customer satisfaction. -Bob Yacobellis
itiprobe says hi
Options can cause undesirable operations, so it is important to ensure they are set up properly.
Warning: perch lorethylene may harm plastic
Male tyrannosaurs may have used their diminutive front legs to titillate female partners, but this will not explain why they got so small. - Gould and Lewontin
Rog-O-Matic's not expert enough. It could handle rogue, but it couldn't handle More.
Caught in --More-- loop.
You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.
You need not worry about your future - it's going to be rotten.
Status: R
Stereotypes are one of the worst things in the world. -miteddie!nessus
It's the thought, if any, that counts! -Dick Grantges
Attend winter sheep meetings. Learning never ends!
If MS/DOS is the only operating system you're ever going to use, then the procedure is simple
A 6-char limit is like night.
A block grant is a nice terminal, but it will keep you awake until noon.
A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the sun god.
About all some parents accomplish in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
Arabic is a mystery -- love is just a crock.
Every day, thousands of housewives pick up speed.
I kissed my first cigarette on the herpolhode lying in the invariant plane.
It's hard to be mellow when you bite your nails.
Man is in session.
OS 360 -- Not uranium.
Please log off, the computer is out to get in your room and drink?
System going down for 5 minutes -- back up in barrels.
The aim of existence is to have clean ideas, change them like shirts.
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are careful to hide the fact.
The null string has always been a locksmith.  -Albert Einstein
The whole UNIX operating system whose documentation fits in a chinese computer terminal!
Thrashing is just before they go totally black.  -Col. Hannibal Smith
Time is nature's way of making more anarchy.
To make an omelette, you have to paint it.
Wars do not log out!
Well, the handwriting is on the Titanic, why not go gentle into that good night?
You're so ugly you couldn't even get a better mouse.
Economic analysts say that while the economy may be slowing, it
 is not fizzling out.
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***
he who lives by the nit dies by the pick.
A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use. -W. Irving
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. -Brendan Behan
There is a 10% penalty for getting yourself killed.
#(cat probably won't work on 8 bit files, you  will have to use a simpler filter)
The barge was in my blind spot. - Peter Hobson, Cambridge cox
Passing over a black hole temporarily disables ship.
For forty days and forty nights you held the future of this country in the hollow of your head. - Australian backbencher
I would be perfectly happy being Kepler, [but] I have been Kepler many times over.-B. Mandelbrot
The lion will lie down with the lamb, but the lamb won't get much sleep.
uucp failed partially: 0 file(s) sent; 1 error(s)
uucp failed completely (11)
Trust him, but still keep your eyes open.
The Inuit have dozens of words for snow, so why do the Dutch only have one word for rain?
non-positive output count: .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
invalid control line !!!
unseal: invalid length
bad input char: .Ppm{=P!*@)Z9oFPp|*?)Z9pv9i%Su$^J)48%K_e239GM#ffoq!!!"!Mp#V6N\H8uEgdXbP\[7j1&PJz!X76!4BA}5!!!!!"syui!!!"!Mp#V6P\Scb?p8`;!4lf&
values of B will give rise to dom!
You dialed 5483
Florida is the "flea and tick capital of America."
"RULE 7: Option arguments cannot be optional." Sys V Interface p 343.
The Italians make money out of funding their own deficit.
May I have a large container of coffee?
How I want a drink, alcoholic of course, after the chapters involving quantum mechanics.
Tu aideras a rappeler ta quantite a beaucoup de docteurs amis.
To express e, remember to memorize a sentence to simplify this.
By omnibus I traveled to Brooklyn.
Te ayudare a recorder la cantidad a indoctos si releesme bien.
Gods!  A hideous beast, baying is pursuing us!
Dieux!  Un monstre hideux.  En hurlant.  Nous poursuit.
We're going up there this weekend and I'm gonna get so roaring, stinkin', no-good drunk I won't be able to see. - mechanic in "The Blob".
There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. - Julius Caesar IV.iii.217
'Tis a gross error, held in schools, That Fortune always favours fools. - John Gay.
Fortis fortuna adiuvat. - Terence
Fortune, good night, smile once more, turn thy wheel! - King Lear II.ii.180
Nothing more certain than incertainties; Fortune is full of fresh variety: Constant in nothing but inconstancy. - Richard Barnfield.
Fortunes ... come tumbling into some men's laps. - Francis Bacon.
Distrust yourself, and sleep before you fight.  'Tis not too late tomorrow to be brave. - J. Armstrong.
The rich man has his motor car, His country and his town estate.  He smokes a fifty-cent cigar And jeers at Fate. - F. P. Adams
Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison.
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week. - Joseph Addison.
These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world. - Joseph Addison.
We have lost our little Hanner in a very painful manner. - Max Adeler.
While I see many hoof-marks going in, I see none coming out. - Aesop.
You press the button, and we'll do the rest.
An Austrian army, awfully arrayed, Boldly by battery besieged Belgrade.
Please to remember the Fifth of November, Gunpowder Treason and Plot.
Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris. - Thomas Appleton.
usend: /usr/asp/spool filesystem is exhausted
If double-bubble inflation did occur, then the shadow world is exponentially uninteresting.
Edinburgh is the Reykjavik of the South.
The skeletons in the cupboard will all come out in the wash.
Nobody goes to the theatre unless suffering from acute bronchitis.
He cried at all his own weddings, and with reason.
Whenever I see his fingernails, I thank God I don't have to look at his feet.
It's deja vu all over again.
$! nulled, predecessor circle
Truth is the ultimate weapon; fortunately no one has perfected it yet. - Ken Ellis
Caution: Do not view laser light with remaining eye.
Using 4.2 in this hospital is a great idea.
Executive ability is in your make-up.
Every excess becomes a vice.
A philosopher does not need a torch to gather glow-worms by at mid-day. -- Earnest Bramah
Good fish get dull but sex is always fun. -- Mehinaku proverb
Accounting software is structured as a set of tools that can be used to build accounting systems.
dis: invalid general addressing mode (e8); notify disassembler implementor
Ignore the fatal errors. It's O.K.
grep: RE error 41: No remembered search string.
struct sleaziness { char *pleasure; int alchemically; };
Veni, vidi, maeni, mo, cacha tigrem baedas to, iffi hollers, ledem go, veni, vidi, maeni, mo.
cc: warning: -g disables -O
System went down at Fri Dec 13 21:54:56 1901
Dump time is unreasonable
Ever see what ratfor does on a syntax error in a for loop?
ucode rev x62
Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.
A tree is best measured when it is down.
The pale companion is not for our pomp.
Make is like Pascal: everybody likes it, so they go in and change it. -DM Ritchie
beware of component 3730
